Visual Community Poetry Project

Water

By: The Community

The Community Poem expressed as a visual project, via digital art created at Scrapblog.

:::

Contributors, Kara, Holly, Janice, Crystal, Angie, Julie.

Community Poem XIII - Water

Water
By: The Community



I.
Dry lips and starved heart

Moistened and fed by my tears

II.
I baptize the forehead with my tears, cross myself,

A ripple of grief soaks the small, still form

III.
You were baptized in death, holy water sprinkled over your still body in my heavy arms

From the blessing on your tiny chest, ripples rose into waves--a tidal deluge of guilt and love and God

IV.
This invisible roller coaster of in-comprehendible pain saturates the expansive abyss of grief within my soul.

These wild, violent undercurrents drench, rip, flood and flow to incessantly cut their bottomless gullies.

V.
Deaths intimate bond permeates, dehydrates,

Grief delegates life, playacting proxy navigates the ceaseless stream

:::


about this piece.
This months theme was water, contributors were asked to write two lines of prose exploring their reflections on water and grief. I posted two lists of words and the contributors were asked to use one of the words from each list in each line of their prose.


about the contributors.
Each person created one stanza, in this order the authors are, Kara, Angie, Crystal, Janice and Julie.

Notes from the Guest Editor: Theme Challenges and Community Poem

Hi to all my friends, fellow babylost community and artists.

I would like to say thanks to Angie for letting me come onto still life 365 to be a guest editor for the month of April. Angie has selflessly offered this experience to me, so that I can know what it is like to be in every day contact with such amazing artists and supporters. I am having a great time already, and its barely even started. I am having lots of email contact with Angie and I can't help anticipating all the inspiring work that is going to flow into this sacred space this month.

I love still life365, I can't say it enough. I am such a big fan. I love seeing the photos arrive on Photo Sunday, as a group we all contribute a photo that expresses our perception of the theme, for me it's like seeing a piece of your soul, being invited to look out from your window and see your world. I love the secretness of the group poem, because everyone submits something individual but no one sees the lines that others are submitting. The group poem always takes the temperature of grief in our community, even though each portion is so deeply personal and straight from the heart it all fits together. And I love the questions that Angie posts, so many contributors have posted that their exploration of the questions have prompted something unknown to rise to the surface, things that have been lying in the depths.

Speaking of depths, this month I have chosen water as the theme

I personally connect with the analogies of grief and water. Ones like "grief is as heavy as water", or it feeling like an unnatural state "exhausting as walking through water", and the very commonly stated "waves of grief rolling in".

We all use water everyday, for most of us we have very constant and unremarkable contact with water. I mean do we call up our best friend and tell them the story of when the water came out of the tap and into our sink? Of course we don't. We flush it, wash in it, drink it, we do countless other mundane things with it. It's just ordinary.

But, there are times when water becomes something else, especially when it gets bigger. Like a lake or a stream or a river or the sea. Being near water becomes a spiritual thing, we feel closer to the source of our beings, we feel a connection with the universe, our creator. Things are more intense and more intimate when we can hear see or feel water.

In Australia we are so focussed on water. It surrounds us, there are thousands of miles of it between us and just about everyone else. We have a very fragile existence because of the lack of water, many parts of our amazing country cannot be inhabited by the ordinary person because they would just die of thirst. We have just had a 10 year long drought which was broken by an extremely rainy and tragic summer. Huge tracts of land disappeared under water and caused the most catastrophic consequences from the top of our nation to the bottom. Some of that land is still under water, or it has been flooded for the second and third time this season. In Australia it seems that there is either too much or not enough. Of course it's not true

Our babies were all protected by water, they floated in an climate controlled amniotic fluid filled sac while they were alive.  That sac of water was one of the lifelines that our body gave to protect their life, for every single one of our babies. For some the water was too much and for others too little, and that signaled problems. For me that is where my journey with grief became coupled with water. 

This month I would like you all to create art using water as your theme.

Please send in any submissions that relate to water at any time, especially if you created something because of the prompts. Angie has been calling for submissions over the last week or two weeks, so if you are not sure please send it to Angie and she will forward it to me and one of us will reply (because I still have my training wheels on) with encouragement and love. I know that I personally have art that has never been published here, so I will take my own advice.

We are trying something a little different this month, instead of posting the community art challenges on Sundays we are going to do them on Mondays.

The publication dates and deadlines are:

Photo Monday 11th April and the deadline for submissions is Saturday 9th April at 8pm

Community Poem 18th April and the deadline for submissions is Saturday 17th April at 8pm

Visual Community Poetry Project 25th April (Easter Monday) and the deadline for submissions is Thursday 21st April at 8pm (because of Easter)

Please send your submissions to stilllife365days(at)gmail(dot)com. And use the submissions type (photo sunday, community poem, visual challenge) as the subject. Next Monday will be Photo Monday, and you have less than one week before the deadline. The challenge with Photo Monday is to take a picture that explores your grief using the theme of water. If you find you are having trouble getting a creative visual idea, post a help message in the comments section of this post and we can all help out with ideas.

I love the Community Poem, I think I already said that. It is going to be the following Monday 18th April.

About the Community Poem. This month I would like you to write two lines of prose exploring your reflections on water and grief. I am posting two lists of words, please use one of the words from each list in each line of your prose. So that is one word from list 1 written into Line 1, and one word from List 2 written into Line 2

Here are the lists,

1.

aqua,

awash,

baptize

bathe,

damp,

dehydrate

drench,

drool,

dry

flood,

hose,

inundate,

irrigate,

moisten,

saturate,

soak,

souse,

spatter,

spray,

sprinkle,

steep,

submerge,

wash,

wet,

2.

flood,

deluge,

rain,

ripple,

storm,

stream

tidal,

tears,

waterfall,

I did a poetry workshop last year sometime and there were so many wonderful individual bohemian type people there who wrote some very amazing things. One thing I remembered from the guest poet (Drew Dellinger) was that poetry was essentially "memorable speech". So I will attempt some memorable speech to explain where I am going.

I will use the words bathe and ripple.

First, I try to collect phrases and words that come to mind that relate to the word bathe;

stepping into, foot first, hot ankles, naked, prepared, wash, pink, heat, anticipate, bubble

This is how my two lines read;

Awkward weary steps in fear spreading

wraps grief ripples round ankles unused to bathing in death

Here is the second part of this challenge which I am calling the Community Visual Poetry Project. Its a visual project because we are going to see your written art take the form of visual art.

I would love to see your handwriting, in this technology age we rarely see handwritten things. Please try to use your natural handwriting, so that means the language and the style that you would normally scribble a note to yourself is perfect. I would like you to please write your lines in circles like the ripples that raindrops make in puddles. Then scan or photograph it and send it to stilllife365. I will create a visual project from everyone's lines to post on the third Sunday in April.

This is how I did it, I drew circles on a piece of paper with a black marker. I put my sheet of copy paper over it and wrote my lines using the black marker circles as a guide. This is how it looks. I am sure yours will be wonderful and together it will be amazing.

Happy photo snapping and poem building my village.

Love from Australia,

Julie

Community Poem XII: The End

The End
by the Community

I.

The end? It was supposed to be the beginning

How am I supposed to live again,
When her end came before her beginning?

Strength, my need now, be present wait.
Time, no gap where the end must end

II.

In the end, as in the beginning, we had one baby;
But, lo the lives we lived while there were two.
Dreams and hopes are crushed in the end
with no movement and pure silence.

With his death came
The end of my innocence.


III.

The unseen barrier of the end assists the start of another phase which is often unexplored
An infinitesimal space separates the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning however they are linked just as in each breath
Others wait for me to reach the end,
but a loveknot goes on forever.
Your death was not the end of my love for you
our hearts journey together forever without end

IV.

My rope. My hope. My ability to cope.
Reached ends, beginnings never seen.

Guitars and helicopters. A bowl licked clean. The last page turned. Seconds on a stopwatch, stopped.

And dust.

:::

about this poem.
For this month's community poem, each contributor was asked to explore The image or idea of the end in two lines.

about the contributors.
Contributors to this month's community poem include: Jane Lloyd, Sally, Julie Cozens, Audrey, Rachel, Sherry Russo, Janice, Jenni, Amy McCarter, Angie and Jess.

December Theme: The End

December's theme is The End. December will be our twelfth and last community poem of the year. Exploring the idea of the "The End" means exploring time. The end of the year. The end of our happiness. The end of our grief. The end of our future. I just think there are so many literal and figurative explorations with the end, and it also might be a good way to end the year.

DECEMBER 5: Community Poem
For this month's community poem, each contributor is asked to explore "The End". I am asking each contributor to submit no more than two lines about the phrase, "The End", or what immediately comes to mind when you hear "The End". I will compile it into a poem on Sunday.

Community Poem is going to be published on December 5th, so please submit by December 4th.


DECEMBER 12: Photo Sunday

Taking the theme further for Photo Sunday, please take a photograph either representative or literal about shadows in your life. All photos must be in by December 11.

DECEMBER 19: Mid-Month Challenge

Mid-month challenge is explore this theme in art, music, poetry or craft. All work must be in by December 18th.

:::

I have come to a really hard decision about this space into the next year. It has been an amazing year and I am grateful to everyone who submitted and shared work and writing here. I am in awe of your creativity and expression.


I have decided to take the every day element out of this space. So, there will not be the urgency of having to drum up work every day. If you have work to share, I would love to post it and share it with others. I hope to continue posting work between Monday through Thursday. I'd love for it to be four days a week, but I am not going to solicit in the same way that I did, so basically, it will be like a regular blog in that when I have work, or am moved to post, I will post. I'd love to see what happens with this space. So, please do continue to email art and poetry to me at stilllife365days(at)gmail(dot)com. I still want to continue the community aspects of this space. But in terms of creative prompts and community poem, I am taking January off to regroup and see where I am at without the constant work.



Thank you. I appreciate your love and belief in what I have tried to create here.

Community Poem XI: Shadows

Shadows
by the Community

I.
Cast off the small metal urn,
the darkness grows,
covering the small neighbor boy,
the same age as my grief.

II.
In the corner of my room,
an antiqued bronze cube stands in heavy shade.
Trinkets clutter where there should only be running light.

III.
"I am stepping on your shadow!" she impishly squeals.
"I am trying to resurrect yours," I silently reply.

IV.
Evening shadows fall earlier in November-
It's too dark to see the road ahead.

:::

about this piece.
For this month's community poem, each contributor was asked to explore both a literal and figurative shadow in two lines. I broke some of them up in ways that made more sense in this poem. Contributors used shadow imagery to describe something figuratively shadowed in your life.

about the contributors.
The contributors wrote each stanza respectively: Angie, Jessica Davis, Audrey and Danielle.

November Theme: Shadows

November's theme is shadows. Literal. Figurative. They seem to envelope us after the death of our children. We have shadow children-those parallel living children born around the same time as our own children died or were due. And shadows that haunt our otherwise sunny days.

Community Poem
For this month's community poem, each contributor is asked to explore both a literal and figurative shadow in two lines. So, use a shadow imagery to describe something figuratively shadowed in your life. For example, my lines are:

Cast off the small metal urn, the darkness grows,
Covering the small neighbor boy, the same age as my grief.

Community Poem is going to be published on November 7th, so all lines must be in by noon on November 6th.


Photo Sunday

Taking the theme further for Photo Sunday, please take a photograph either representative or literal about shadows in your life. All photos must be in by November 13th.

Mid-Month Challenge

Mid-month challenge is explore this theme in art, music, poetry or craft. All work must be in by November 20th.

Ten Questions

Ten Questions will be posted on the day of the Community Poem.

Please direct all questions to the comment section of this post. I do hope this theme is interesting to all of you.

Community Poem X: In Your Memory.

In your Memory
by the Community


In your memory, the day after you were born,
We came home and chose music for your funeral.


At 3:33, I close my eyes, commune with you, see your face, touch your cheek,
in a space that's not a space and a time that's not a time. I open my eyes--3:35.


I make embroidery a meditation.
Each cross, a kiss.


Each day, I recall that snap shot image of you I etched into my heart & mind the day you were born. I’ve planted a spring garden for you and talk to you through my thoughts every day.


I make an altar and kneel.
Say a prayer to the Saint of Heartbreak.


I seek out the patterns of the stars;
Your pattern never lost from my heart or the twinkling heavens.


I wake to the early morning light, look through the window to gaze at your garden and think, "Good morning.... I love you".
Then I stroll through the fading evening light to stand at your garden and whisper, "I love you... goodnight".


We plant roses and light candles,
and hold you in our hearts when we'd rather hold you in our arms.

In your memory, today I will reach out and embrace friendship.





:::

about the poem.

This month's community poem is about rituals. Participants were asked to write two lines based on a ritual they performed for their child--the ritual could be something performed everyday, or it can be something performed once, like a funeral, planting a tree, or a religious rite.



about the poem.

This poem was written by Sally, Karla Marie, Jill, Janice, Angie, Rachel, Amy, Megan, and ANg.

October Theme: Rituals to honor the dead.

I struggled with how to word this theme, even though I can see the idea clearly in my mind's eye. For some reason that felt possibly the most important part of this theme to communicate--that sometimes we feel concepts completely before being able to verbalize, make statements and commit them to language. Such is the relationship many of us have with death, especially when we lose our babies. We feel this importance, this gravity of spirit, without being able to communicate it to others. This is why ritual and art become so significant. They give us actions and means to tell our story without speaking.

When our children die, we suddenly touch our ancestors in the same moment that we touch our legacy. It is like time has folded in on itself.  I know when Lucia died I felt comforted by the knowledge that she may see or feel her grandfather in this place I couldn't visualize and state of being of which I was wholly unable to grasp, even as I wrestled with my own beliefs about life after death.  Most of us have our first experience of death from losing a great grandparent, or grandparent, but later when we lose our children, we bridge the experience of the "natural order of thing". I hate using the word natural, because death is natural, but what I mean of course is the early death of our children.

October seems to absolutely vibrate with the energy of the dead. Some people think of it as a magical time, or a time when the world of the living is close to the world of the dead. Halloween, maybe the most popular holiday, has its ancient roots both in the Celtic holiday of Samhain and the Catholic holiday of All Saint's Day. Samhain in its own right is still celebrated by pagans, and has the most vivid connections with the earth and harvest, the end of the "lighter half" of the year and beginning of the "darker half". As Wikipedia says, "The Gaels believed that the border between this world and the otherworld became thin on Samhain; because some animals and plants were dying, it thus allowed the dead to reach back through the veil that separated them from the living. Bonfires played a large part in the festivities. People and their livestock would often walk between two bonfires as a cleansing ritual, and the bones of slaughtered livestock were cast into its flames." Latin Americans celebrate Dia de los Muertos, or the Day of the Dead, on November 2nd (also All Soul's Day), which specifically honors those that have died. It is a celebration both outwardly and inwardly. People march in parade painted as skulls, but also create private altars honoring the deceased using sugar skulls, marigolds, and the favorite foods and beverages of the departed and visiting graves with these as gifts. Many people associate the morbid skulls and images of the dead to mean Day of the Dead is a dark holiday, but for most Latinos, it is a bright, fun holiday and an important part of their lifelong grief after losing their loved one.

So this month's theme is honoring the dead, our ancestors, our babies, and rituals around honoring them. I will break this down by week:

Community Poem

This month's community poem will be about rituals you do for your baby, be it light a candle, create an altar, sing a song, read a book. Write two lines based on a ritual you perform--the ritual can be something performed everyday, or it can be something performed once, like a funeral, planting a tree, or a religious rite. I hope to weave these together in a coherent poem, so while specifics of the ritual are important, try not to use specific names. There is a tie that will bind all these two lines together, begin first of two lines with the phrase, "In your memory..."

All community poem lines need to be submitted by October 2nd, for publishing on October 3rd. Please send it to stilllife365days@gmail.com. Just note that our email address has the word 'days' in it. I know some people have sent things to another, more logical, email address, so if you have, please note the correct email, and try resending. I have attempted to contact the owner of that email address to no avail.

Photo Sunday

Taking the theme further for Photo Sunday, please take a photograph of a something that you have done as a ritual, or that someone else has done as a ritual honoring the dead. All photos must be in by October 9th.

Mid-Month Challenge

Mid-month challenge is explore this theme in art, music, poetry or craft.

Ten Questions will be posted on the day of the Community Poem.

Please direct all questions to the comment section of this post. I do hope this theme is interesting to all of you.

For further inspiration, Mother Henna hosted an amazing Day of the Dead art swap last year and has compiled a book of the artwork for free! You can view it here, and while you are there, please check out her other amazing stuff. If you are looking to explore your grief creatively, I urge you, no, I push you, to take one of her grief home workshops, or connect with her for coaching. She inspires me everyday.

Community Poem IX: Nine Ways of Looking at a Tree

Nine Ways of Looking at a Tree
by the Community.

I

Tree laden with snow,
Heavy and silent
A little redbird sings.


II

Your breath whispers to the tree
to dance for my longing heart
then I feel your touch
from a fallen red maple leaf.


III

Beneath my steps I hear
the brittle crack of paper tears.
The leaves in Autumn so colored
by the lament of the tree.


IV

Effortless, exhausted parting
does the tree mourn the fallen leaf
for death, cyclic, gives life.


V

Snowy tree boughs creak;
Bare and vulnerable.
Whipping winds break and scar
evidence of what once was.
Dormant growth systems
waiting for a brighter day.


VI

Tall trees cast shadows.
No sun left my garden bare.
Cold, no growth, no life.


VII

Stripped bare now,
The tree drives all energy down into the cold ground
To survive the harsh winter.


VIII

Wind blows the leaves of the trees
in the direction they don't want to go.
I hate
that damn wind.


IX

I dig a hole for you.
Plant a tree that will blossom
in the Spring.

:::

about this piece.
Written in the style of Wallace Stevens' Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird, the community was asked to adopt a minimal style and work the word "tree" into their stanza about grief. You can read more about this poem's instructions here.

about the contributors.
Contributors and their individual stanzas are as follows ANg, alter my world (I), Amy McCarter (II), Jessica Davis (III), Julie Cozens (IV), Rachel (V), Ines (VI), Lynette (VII), Naomi (VIII), and Angie (IX).

September Theme: Trees.

Community Poem
Everyone approaches grief differently. While there is many similarities in our emotions around loss, death and grief, we each come by it in our own way. I am constantly amazed when I pull together community poems how few overlaps of words there are. When, for example, I wrote last month's community poem, which was submit one word that you think other people would use to describe you or your grief, I thought I was going to get twenty submissions of "strong". That was the first word I thought of, but I only received two strongs, and that was the only overlap.

One of my favorite poems is Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird by Wallace Stevens. Each of the thirteen stanzas is different approach to the theme of a blackbird. The minimalist style of each stanza, while influenced by the haiku, is not a haiku. I am linking the piece, because I want each of us to use that style in September's community poem. But first, I would like you to put your grief or death goggles on. Now, we are going to each write a stanza to thirteen ways of looking at an object through the lens of grief. Of course, that thirteen will change based on the number of entries I get. I really wanted the object to be unrelated to death or grief, even though I want each person to look at it through their grief. So, September's community poem will be Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Tree.

Start thinking about trees through the lens of grief.

Please direct any questions about this poem, or any section of this month's theme, in the comments section of this post. This month's community poem will be published on September 5th, so all entries need to be in by September 4th. Happy poeming!

Photo Sunday.

Photo Sunday is a showcase of photographs about a theme. This month's theme is trees. Tying this project to grief is the important, and difficult aspect of this challenge. Photo Sunday will be September 12th, so all pictures need to be submitted by the 11th.

Mid-Month Challenge.

Mid-month challenge is to use the image of tree in a piece of artwork, craft or writing about your grief and loss. You can use any medium, as always. Please send in submissions by September 18th, for submission on the 19th.

Ten Questions.

Here are this month's ten questions. I will post a Mr. Linky on Sunday September 26th. You come and link to your own blog with answers to these questions. You can choose to answer as many as you would like, or just post about the month's theme. This is a way for members of the still life 365 community to find other people in this community.

1. When you saw the theme of trees for the month of September, what immediately came to your mind?
2. What kinds of words do you associate with trees?
3. Of these words, do you associate any with yourself?
4. Have you been an outdoorsy person throughout your life?
5. How has your relationship with nature changed since your loss(es)?
6. Did you plant a tree or bush in honor of your child?
7. If you have planted a tree for your child, in what ways do you incorporate the tree into your life? If you haven't, what natural images do you associate with your loss? (Do you tend to it? Do you meditate or reflect under it? Do you places flowers by it?)
8. Trees have also been used to represent families. Talk a bit about your own family tree.
9. What are your feelings now about family trees and exploring your own lineage?
10. The rings of trees fascinate me. I remember learning that in hard years, the rings were smaller, or darker than in years of good water. Describe the rings of your tree.


When I was a kid, I loved loved loved Bob Ross, and often think when I am painting anything, "Happy little trees." So, for a little inspiration...





If you have any questions about this month's theme (TREES), please direct it to the comment section of this post. Happy creating.

Community Poem VIII: A Vision Of Me Reflected In Your Eyes One Word At a Time

A Vision Of Me Reflected In Your Eyes One Word At a Time
by the Community

Demanding
Strong.
Detached.
Broken.

.degnahC

Selfish.
Faithful.
Sadder.
Checked-Out.

wilted.

Hopeful.
Aloof
Wounded.
Bitter.

Ssssslllllooooowwwww.

Angry.
Surviving.
Absent.
Spiraling.

STRONG.

:::

about this piece.
August's community poem tackled the outside eye. For many of us, grief feels like being on stage. For this poem, each contributor was asked to step out of themselves for a moment and think of a word that someone else might use to describe them. This was not a self-descriptive word, but a word that someone else would use.The exercise is about trying to exorcise the demons that voice criticisms about how each person grieves and acknowledging the new people we have become.

about the contributors.
Contributors by their on-line pseudonym or real life name include: Natasja, Ya Chun, Janis Tan, Sally, Robb, Holly, Katrina, Ginny, Julianne, Anna, Rachel, Audrey, Tracey, Stephanie, Heather, Jessica, Lynette, Heather G., Jane, and Angie.

Community Poem: August

Here in the US, this summer has been relentless. Re. Lent. Less. Heat waves. Torrential downpours followed by no rain for a month. When I talk to my friends on the other side of the world, they tell me winter is no less vicious. Cold and dark. And I know that means that submitting, thinking about community poem and mid-month challenges is all kind of overwhelming. There is a kind of stasis all over the blogosphere. I can just see it in my reader and in the comments coming in.

So, I thought I'd make the August community poem a one-worder. We did that for our first community poem in January, and it was a powerful piece. It was also easier to come up with one word, rather than a stanza. After all, it is relentlessly summer or winter wherever you might be.

This month, I want to tackle the outside eye. For many of us, grief feels like being on stage. People seem to watch us more now, even if they say less. People watch us to see our moods. How are we dealing with the death of our children? How are we handling things? That can be both a positive, if they are reaching out to offer support, or a negative, if we feel judged.

So, for this poem, I am asking you to step out of yourself for a moment and think of a word that someone else might use to describe you now. Again, this word can be a positive word or a negative one. Not one you would use for yourself, but one that you think someone might use to describe the grieving you. Or maybe a word someone has actually used to describe you. This exercise is about trying to exorcise the demons that voice criticisms about how we grieve and acknowledging the new people we have become.

Please email your ONE word to stilllife365days(at)gmail(dot)com. I am asking you to limit your submissions to one word each. No explanations of that word are necessary, though you can definitely share your stories here in the comments, or in the comments of the community poem. That might be interesting in and of itself. All words must be in by Saturday, July 31st.

Community Poem VII: What We Lost

What We Lost
by the Community


When you died I lost
purpose, meaning, direction,
the plans for my life.

For a while, I lost the ability to concentrate on anything
except the enormity of what I lost,
which meant I misplaced my keys a lot.

Gone are the moments of perfect happiness.
Gone are the moments of stillness and quiet peace.

I lost my belief that bad things happen to others, not me.
Friends: unknowingly abandon and shame.

I lost my innocence
and my sense
of self
when I lost you.

I lost my body.
Stillness birthed and my body became foreign
the womb of doom
the birth of death
the miracle of life turned horrific
Is regaining respect for this physical form possible?

I've been disabused;
The universe cares nothing
for my life's balance.

:::

about the piece.
This month's community poem is about all our losses. Contributors were asked to respond to the title, "What We Lost." Each person was asked to write about one thing they lost after the death of their child. Style and format was up to the individual's discretion.

about the contributors.
Contributors by their on-line pseudonym or real life name include: Jennifer (Mum to Eva), Eliza, Rachel, Jane, Megan, Erika P., Audrey, AnnaMarie and Angie.

Community Poem: July

Death has so many euphemisms-- passed away, crossed over, resting in peace, departed, perished--to name a few. Particularly in the blogging community, one reads the entire gamut of word choices depending on faith, or lack thereof, or disposition simply by reading one's bloglist. But one that is used often is loss/lost. It is controversial. Let's face it, our children are anything but lost. We know, sadly, exactly where they are. Always. But I use it. A lot. I use it not because my daughter is lost, but because sometimes I feel lost and I feel the acuteness of loss and I have had so many losses after the death of my daughter. The word 'babylost' is mysterious, curious and special to me. The first time I read it, I thought, "Yes, that is me. I am babylost. I am lost without my baby. I am on a babylost bender."

This month's community poem is about all our losses. I usually don't post the title, but this month, the title will be, "What We Lost." Each person is asked to write about ONE thing you lost after the death of your child. Please try not to use your child's name, or specifics, like sex, etc. I try to integrate these lines to make one unified poem. This poem is going to be different in that the style is your choosing. It can be a word, a haiku, a couplet, a stanza (please no longer than one stanza), but try to keep it to ONE loss, if that makes sense. I have no idea how this will pan out in the end, but I think it would be cool to have a mishmash of styles, words and elements, because to me the chaos is part of loss too.

If you have any questions, please direct it to the comment section of this post. All contributions should be emailed to stilllife365days@gmail.com in by June 30th.

Community Poem VI: The Grief Poem

The Grief Poem
by the Community

Grief is everlasting
Grief is lonely.
Grief is the pain you feel deep in your soul.
Grief is seeing her even though she isn't there.
Grief is knowing that tomorrow will come even if that means another day without them.
Grief is full of love and tears.
Grief is like the stillness in the center of a tornado.
Grief is only a very small part of who I am.
Grief is smeared mascara and puffy eyes.
Grief is an empty rocking chair.
Grief is an island with no shore.
Grief is a blunt knife: sometimes it's in the drawer; sometimes it's in your chest.
Grief is me, parched, in the desert, without.
Grief is unrelenting and isolating darkness.
Grief is forever.
Grief is an irreparable tear in the very fabric of your being.
Grief is seeing one head bent over the Lego box instead of two.
Grief is feeling the intensity of life for all the wrong reasons.
Grief is the stiffening in your spine as you feel someone about to count your visible children.
Grief is a black hole.

:::

about the piece.
This month's community poem was inspired by a series of children's books by Todd Parr, which describes things like family, earth and peace in simple terms and stick figures. Contributors were asked to help write The Grief Poem, describing grief with one simple central image that begins "Grief is".

about the contributors.
Contributors by their on-line pseudonym or real life name include:
Krissy, k@lakly, Sally, Betty, Holly, Jill, Christine, Anne, Rachel, Jane, Audrey, Kieran, ANg, Beth, Janis, Emily, Lynette, Louise, Julia and Angie

Community Poem: June

As you may have realized, we received no mid-month challenge submissions. I am hoping this is more accessible and inspiring. Hey, some of my ideas work and others don't. If you have ideas for the community poem/mid-month challenge, you are welcome to submit them to stilllife365days(at)gmail(dot)com.

I have bought a few grief books in my time, but the ones that hit me as most important and poignant were the ones that I bought for my daughter. In simple clear terms, the children's books explain that we don't know why, just that someone we loved died, and we are sad.  And we will be sad for a long time.

My daughter has a non-grief related children's book that is called the Peace Book. The book describes peace through simple drawings and simple sentences.

"Peace is watching the snow fall."

"Peace is being different."

"Peace is making new friends."

"Peace is reading a book."

It got me thinking that an amazing book for bereaved parents might be The Grief Book. This month's Community Poem is to write the "Grief is" poem. Please submit one line via email that begins "Grief is ". You can submit it to me via email stilllife365days(at)gmail(dot)com. Please use June Community Poem in the subject line. Submission deadlines will be May 30th. The poem, as always, will be published on the first of the month.

Community Poem V: Question Tennis

Question Tennis
by the Community

Do I have to?
What if I don't?
How do I continue to face each day without you here?
How did I face each day before you?
Was there anything else I could have done to protect him?
What more could I have given than everything I had?
How are you going to get it out of me?
How could life be so cruel?
Who is to blame?
Who can I blame?
How could I possibly have let it slip my mind that babies die?
How did it never occur to me that my baby could die?
What is my purpose in living now that my baby is dead?
Is there a purpose to living at all?
Did I know?
How could I have known?
Did she know?
How could she have known?
Was she in pain?
How do I live with this pain?
How on earth do I help my children survive this?
How on earth do I help me survive this?
Why?
Why not?



:::


about the piece.
Angie, still life 365's editor, talks about this month's community poem, "If there was a punctuation mark that defined grief, it would be the question mark. So many questions came up for me after I lost my daughter. My first lesson of our loss was that each question just brought up more questions. There is a famous scene in the play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead where they play a little question tennis. One question leads to another. Participants were asked to remember questions that came up for them after their loss and during grief. I volleyed back questions in this poem that their questions evoked in me. I think this poem could have been written a thousand ways."

about the contributors.
Contributors by their on-line pseudonym or real life name include: Emily, Brittany, Sally, Beth, Jill, Krissy, Rachel, Jeanette, Amy and Angie

Community Poem: May

If there was a punctuation mark that defined grief, I would definitely pick the question mark. I had so many questions after my daughter was stillborn, not least of which was simply, "Why?" Immediately followed by a quick, succinct "Why not?" And thus the first lesson of our losses, there are no answers, just more questions. Even with answers, we often still have the overarching questions to which we cannot put a voice.

There is a famous scene in the play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead where they play a little question tennis. And well, I thought we could make a little question poem. Send me a question that came up for you after your loss or during your grief. There are only a couple of "fouls" in this one. Please no "why" or "why not".

Send your question to me via the still life 365 email address at stilllife365days (at) gmail (dot) com.

:::

When I was a young twenty-something woman who worked in a restaurant and lived on a pittance, I had a friend who was the son of rich people. He graduated from college, and then moved to the middle of nowhere to focus on playing guitar and sleeping past noon. From what I could discern, he never had a job. He often wore stained designer clothes and Tevas.  And he always seemed to be looking for someone to have a beer with. Whenever I met up with him, he would sit down and look vaguely depressed and downtrodden. Inevitably, I would bite and ask him what was up. And he would always give me the same answer, "The well is dry, dude." And he would go on to tell a depressing tale of his parents impending decision to cut him off his money/trust fund unless he found a job. Of course, the next week, he was still in his apartment, still drinking expensive microbrew beer at 3p, and still somehow, playing the same Stones song in his stairwell without a little hat overturned. I am sort of feeling like that guy these days.

I have received a wealth of amazing work in the last 105 days. And I do recognize how amazing it is to be surrounded by creativity, bravery and art all the time. You give me that gift by submitting. Hopefully, you feel it is worth it, because I share that art with all of you, and we take the time to explore creative projects like the mid-month challenges and the community poems. I think this space is inspiring, not just to me, but to others exploring creative outlets for their grief. That is why I keep asking for work. That is why I keep getting that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach when I see a date without a post. Oh, I have some work in the queue from those amazing people who send me a number of pieces at one shot. I spread those out a bit, even though I open some emails and think, "I have to get that up there right now this very minute."

Still, after tomorrow's post, and I really mean it this time, uh, the well is dry, dude. I know I said that last month, but then people sent me awesome work. You know, you were there. You saw the amazing, courageous work that came from the last call to submit. And so, I am asking again, in that begging, teenage whiney voice for submissions. Please check out the how to submit page for the very few rules we have. And please consider anything and everything that got you through your grief, that helped you process an aspect of your loss or just a good diversion.

xo

Community Poem IV: Bibliomancy

Bibliomancy 
by the Community


A stream of images that come to persuade, to sell, to entertain, and to teach.

“Aunt Mildred!" she'd say. "How perfectly nice to hear from you."

Through endless cycles of love and pain, we all eventually surrender.

A tablespoon of coriander leaves, very finely chopped

I was terrified that the verdict would say, essentially, Cause of death: maternal oblivion.

Suffering does that, to compel us to eliminate the unnecessary, the trivial, the superficial.

Maybe it's time to press 'stop' and focus in the One who understands your suffering and can free you from your guilt.

We are the only ones who know what wakes us up and what puts us to sleep.

It’s important to remember that people grieve in different ways.

:::

about the poem.

There is an ancient form of divination called bibliomancy, or telling the future by books. A passage is picked randomly out of a book, and said to hold the future for the person who randomly picked the sentence. Contributors were asked to balance a book that was important to them in their grief journey. It could be a self-help book, the Bible or other religious text, a grief manual, or some silly mindless book that got the person through some tough times. Jess from After Iris took the lines sent in and constructed this divination poem for this month's community poem.


The lines from the poem come from the following books: Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg; Simple Prayers For Complicated Lives By Jennifer Philips; Empty Cradle, Broken Heart by Deborah L. Davis, PhD; An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken; Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell; Angelic Inspirations by artist Toni Carmine Salerno; Real Food by Nigel Slater; the Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chödrön and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris.

about the contributors.
Contributors by their on-line pseudonym or real life name include: Rachel, Katrina, Jill, Angie, Sally, Carly Brooks, Michael, Jenni and Jess of afteriris.