Dear Alex,Tommy

Dear Alex
by Tommy
 
Dear Alex,
Your light burned so bright
And burned so short
In that brief flash
I felt more than I ever thought I could feel
Anxious when you came so soon
Relief when all seemed so good
Joy when you first set eyes on me
Pride when you held my hand
Anger when things got worse
Regret for all that could have been
Peace when I finally could hold you
and set you free
A whole spectrum in so small a span
Now you know more than I do
About life's mysteries
But I know just as part of me was in you
Part of you will always be with me.
With love,
Daddy

:::

about the poem.
Tommy wrote this poem the morning of his son Alex's memorial service.

about the poet.
In Mimmy's words:
"My name is Mimmy.  My husband Tommy and I have three children Luke, Alex & Leia.  Luke is seven and a half years old and was born healthy, full term and on my due date. So when we found out that we were pregnant with our second, we expected nothing less. On Mother's Day of 2004, Alex was born almost three months premature. The pregnancy was as normal as it could be until that day.  Then on May 9th, I had a little contraction pain in the middle of the night and decided to go to the hospital just to be sure.  We found out immediately that I was 10 cm dilated and the doctor delivered him right away. He was three and a half pounds and nearly 17 inches tall.  The doctor initially told us that he was looking good for a premie but had to be intubated because of his immature lungs.  His first three brain scans were 100% normal. Then the doctor ordered him to be extubated on his third day at the NICU to see how he would do breathing on his own.  Everything crumbled and our life changed forever from that moment.  His brain scan showed his brain was over 50% hemorrhaged afterward and he died on May 11, 2004.  None of the doctors could explain what went wrong.

"Our subsequent pregnancy was an emotional roller coaster ride.  I was scared, still grieving for Alex and all I did was cry. We were told by our doctors that once a woman had a premature labor, the chances of it happening again is really high.  Leia was born six weeks early but everything was fine and she came home with us two days after her birth.  She's nearly four years old and is a healthy little girl.

"It has been five and a half years after Alex's death and we're still grieving.  There's a giant hole in me which I physically feel the pain every breath I take.  Alex is forever alive in our broken heart."


Mimmy submitted Tommy's poem and their story to still life 365.