Haunted, C.M. Haytko

Haunted
by Carol Michele Haytko

Every waking moment, I'm haunted
And my dreams are restless sleep
A zombie trapped by a hideous truth
A slave to my memories

A world in blue and gray
A mind shattered by fits of rage
A fairy tale broken into 8mm film
And a girl, who no longer breathes...
And that girl is me...

I go through life, like I'm reading a script
Grateful when each day passes me over
Death is a wish that to grant would be complete
So I live each day in a purple fog

A waking nightmare is each breath
A prayer that ends in a waking death
A fairy trapped in a human realm
And a woman chained on her knees...
And that woman is me...

Prayerful still, yet still afraid
Graveyard dirt stains a woeful face
Memories laced with heroin
And a baby that ceases to be...
And a mother who weeps endlessly...
And that mother is me...

:::

about the piece.
Carol wrote "Haunted" after her first miscarriage in 2001. 

about the poet.
Carol Michele Haytko suffered her first miscarriage in 2001. She then experience two more miscarriages in 2008 and 2009, as well as the loss of her very premature twins and their little brother nine months later in 2008.  In Sept 2009, Carol gave birth to a second set of boy/girl twins prematurely but who have not only survived but are thriving. She details her and her family's lives after the deaths of our precious Nicholas, Sophia, Alexander, and their miscarried babies along with life after the births of Bobby and Maya in her blog, My Life After Loss.  The song was initially posted on her writer's blog.