Everyday
by Julie Douglas
I miss you
I think about you.
I remember the day you were born,
The uncertain days leading up to your birth,
And the painful days afterwards.
I look at the tiny clothes you wore
spread out next to my bed.
I look at the photo I keep on the fridge
Of you in my arms.
I write about our journey together on my blog.
I talk about you regularly.
I feel lost without you here with me, it is unnatural.
I do things that need to be done
Even though my heart is hurting.
For 11 weeks and 2 days
I have missed you
Everyday
:::
about the piece.
I wrote this poem to mark Charlotte's intended due date on July 2nd, 2010. I wanted to communicate to people who were reading my blog that my grief was on going, it was very much part of my everyday life. -Julie
about the artist.
Julie Douglas' fourth child, Charlotte, who had Trisomy 18, was born at 28 weeks in April 2010. She also recently lost a twelve week pregnancy. Julie's story can be found at We Dreamed of You.
The emotional pain and the physical reality clash in grief. You say "it is unnatural" in your poem, I agree. There is an unfulfilled part of me that will always want my baby, no matter how rational I can be about his health and even though I have 3 living children.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you have this pain too. Your poem is beautiful. I read some of your blog and Charlottes eulogy and I saw beauty there too. Keep writing. Peace.
Deeply touching and your powerful writing resonates strongly in that pain filled place within me. I am so sorry for the losses you've experienced. Please keep communicating openly Julie. With my love x
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