Mantle, Amy

In the first month of grief my husband and I went to a store and I saw this stone statue of a family. I had to have it. As we were purchasing this item the cashier said something about family or baby ... it's been 4 years and the grief fog blocks her words ... but I do remember my eyes filling with tears. The woman sensed this statues importance and said something kind. Again, her words escape my memory.

The feathers have been found and given to us and are from the bird we find represents Liam's spirit.

The red stone heart was a gift chosen by me for Liam's 3rd birthday.

All three things sit on top of our mantle, in our living room, next to Liam's photo. They are a part of our daily lives, something we see each day.

about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

Twilight Love, Amy McCarter

Twilight Love
by Amy McCarter

There you are, in the space that is no longer
The place that was yours and now gone
In the light that mingles with dark
Your story drifting on the silent current of sorrow
Dancing in the magical twilight sun
I feel you though my eyes can not see
You are the dream that once was and should have been
You are my love for all time
My Hope
Inspiration
You are Liam

:::

about the poem.
I wrote this poem after finally taking down Liam's nursery in July 2008 and converting back into a spare bedroom. While the room was no longer a nursery, I saw ghost shadows like whispers of what it used to be... sometimes I still do.

about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day. 

Country Jizo, Amy McCarter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Country Jizo.

Amy McCarter.

Watercolor pencil and marker on paper.

March 2011.

:::


about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

Photo Monday

Dogwood flower floating in water
Amy McCarter
April 2011
Surviving the Day Everyday


Grief can be isolating. Grief sometimes makes me feel as if my days are spent circling around, never moving from the place I was. Occasionally even the most vibrant Spring day can feel devoid of color and light. Grief leaves me searching for something I can not find, something just beyond my reach. But on other days grief bestows beauty and courage. At times being alone with my grief I find a kind of peaceful solitude. I see all this in the black and white photo of the single dogwood flower floating in circles within the small birdbath of water. - Amy

:::

Endless
Rachel
Digital photograph, unaltered except the addition of sepia tone.
Curls O Fred

Having been born and have mostly ever lived in landlocked states, the ocean presents itself as a very powerful force to me. It's vast and seemingly unending, much like the grief I have after my daughter's stillbirth. Both the ocean and grief are ever changing...some days more raw and unrelenting, and at other times more calm and subtly washing over me. - Rachel

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Untitled.
Kara Kohr.

My submission for Photo Monday is a photograph taken on our son Matthew's first birthday. He was born still on Sept. 8, 2007 at 21 weeks. We were shocked when we learned at 20 weeks that he was very sick and would not live. On his first birthday one year later, we bought a sunflower for each member of our family: my husband, our first and only child, Matthew, and myself. We threw each flower into the lake in our neighborhood and we released balloons into the sky. It had been a terribly hard year for us after we lost him. And, very fitting, it rained very gently and quietly the whole time we stood at the lake and watched as our flowers floated away and our balloons disappeared.


about the photographer.
Our first child, Matthew was born still on Sept. 8, 2007 at 21 weeks. We were shocked and heartbroken. After genetic testing and an autopsy, the doctors could only tell us that they thought it was a fluke. We then struggled for almost 2 years to conceive again. After months of infertility treatments, we became pregnant 2 years and one month after we had gotten pregnant with Matthew. At our 12 week ultrasound, we learned that our second child, Gracie, was sick as well. 14 weeks later, Gracie was born still at 26 weeks. Our second pregnancy was excruciating, filled with many appointments, extensive genetic testing and overwhelming hope for a miracle. It wasn't until after an autopsy was performed on Gracie that we learned that we are both recessive carriers for a very rare, fatal genetic condition. There is a 25% chance that any child we conceive will be affected. There is no chance that any baby will survive pregnancy if s/he is affected. We are now 24 weeks pregnant with our third child, a boy, who our doctors are confident is healthy and see no reason why he won't join us this summer. - Kara

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Sideways. 
Julie Cozens.

Grief still does this to me. It knocks me sideways. Some moments of some days I feel as though I have to have a life jacket to survive it because I am too exhausted to swim anymore and I feel like I will drown. I don't understand why people who are standing on the edge are still just waiting for me to reach safe water. - Julie

Untitled, Amy McCarter

Untitled.
Amy McCarter.
Watercolor pencil and marker on paper
March 2011

:::

about the piece.
As time marches forward and the five year mark of trying to become parents approaches, I am feeling pretty down and out. This sad little bug depicts the emotion of my heart as does the wilted flower she rests upon. - Amy

about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

sl365 Valentine ATC, Amy McCarter

sl365 Valentine ATC
Amy McCarter
Marker and watercolor pencils on paper
February 2011

:::


about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

Untitled, Amy McCarter

Untitled.
Amy McCarter.
Prismacolor marker on paper


:::

about the piece.

Inspired by my son Liam who I miss everyday and the child I hope to hold in my arms one day. It is love that connects me to both.-Amy.

about the contributor.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

Photo Sunday: The End.

 












The End.
Julie Cozens.

about the piece.
Solid footing ends,
my innocence ends.
Grieving takes over,
Like water, heavy.
Life continues on
And on, always on.

The next picture doesn't say anything about falling.

 :::

The End of a Season... The End of a Mum.
Amy McCarter.

about the photograph.
This photo was taken in Liam's garden during the first snow of the season.
December 4, 2010

:::

The End of the Road.
Sally.

about the piece.
This was as the sun was setting on New Year's Eve, 2008. The last day of the year she was born. The last day we were able to grieve in her birth and death year. The year that was the end of our innocence and naivety. It felt like the end of the road for us, as I was not sure how I could possibly keep putting one foot in front of the other in a brand new year. But it also felt like a new beginning, as we were desperate to to put the year behind us and try and move forward in to a new year that would hopefully include more happier times. And it did. -Sally

Worlds Apart, Amy McCarter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Worlds Apart

Acrylics 8X8 October 2010

Contribution to the first 365 travel journal

 

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about the contributor.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day. 

Untitled, Amy McCarter

Untitled.
Amy McCarter.
Photography.

:::

about the piece.
Liam's light shines through my heart. His love is everywhere if I take the time to look. Photograph November 2010. -Amy.

about the contributor.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day. 

The Breakdown, Amy McCarter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Breakdown

Amy McCarter.

ATC

Marker on watercolor paper

September 2010

 

:::

about the poet.

Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day. 

Opening to possibilities, Amy McCarter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Opening to possibilities.

Amy McCarter.

ATC painted September 2010

Acrylics

 

:::

 

about the painting.

By accepting the unknown she finds freedom and peace. She may fall..... she may not.

about the artist.

Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day. 

Photo Sunday, Shadows

Shadows.

Jessica.

Walks With Frost

about the photo.
One night my daughter Hadley was blowing bubbles on our back deck.  I took photos.  As I watched her, and looked at the images coming up, I liked the shadowy effect.  It looked like she was putting on an old-fashioned shadow puppet show for me.  I feel like I have always looked into the shadows of things because they hold secrets.  I began to think that every time one of Hadley's bubbles popped it was her little brother, Frost's hands reaching out from the shadows to play.  He was helping us to see the secrets of where he had gone.  -Jessica.

:::

Untitled.
Amy McCarter.
Surviving the Day EveryDay.

:::

Shadow Belly.
Ceil.

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Shadow Steps.
Julie Cozens.

about the photo
I participated in the Walk to Remember in Melbourne last weekend. For me, this picture tells the story of the walk. Literally it is a picture of one footstep, it's my foot and my shadow. Figuratively it tells my grief story. I carry the shadow of Thomas' death, its connected to me and I carry it everywhere I go, even on the days it's not visible. I did the walk alone, in a crowd of a thousand, sadly this picture also tells the story of my loneliness in grief. -Julie

:::

Shadow.
Holly.
Momentum.


about the photo.

Just enough strength to stay afloat
I await my turn to find a glimmer of light
A momentary escape from the shadows
Which hold my soul captive.
-Holly


:::

 

Naked and Alone.
Audrey.
Glutton Button.

:::

Shadow.
Kieran.
Radar of Chance (Kieran's wife Louise)  

about this photo.
I am Laura's Dad. I considered writing something about Laura's shadow over our lives or such, but that's not what this image is about. I take photographs for all sorts of reasons; but mostly because image-making is how I define myself. I continue to make images, even after Laura, because I don't know how not to. This shadow lives near my house and only comes out at night. -Kieran

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Thank you to everyone who participated in still life 365's Photo Sunday. Photo Sunday is a regular monthly feature of still life 365. On the second Sunday of each month, we will showcase photographs taken around the monthly theme. Monthly themes are announced and explored in various weekly creative challenges. See the sidebar to explore more of November's challenges. The goal of Photo Sunday is to highlight the art of photography and help explore different aspects of grief through the camera lens.

Next Sunday is Mid-Month Challenge in which you can choose any medium, including photography, to explore the theme of Shadows. Also, next Sunday (November 21st) is the deadline for submitting a piece for the still life 365 printed journal. Please see this post for more information.

The Bridge, Amy McCarter

The Bridge.
Amy McCarter.
Photography.


:::

about this piece.
While walking in the woods on a cold January day in 2008, my first hike in these woods since Liam, I came upon this bride. I had hiked this trail many times before, but I saw this crooked bridge with new eyes on this day. I was looking at life, at nature, with grief filled eyes and my sadness was everywhere. The trail I was walking and the old wooden bridge transformed into something tragically beautiful in that moment and I took this picture. -Amy

about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

Tree, Amy McCarter

Tree.
Amy McCarter.
Photography.
Altered on computer by adding Sepia tinting

:::

about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

A Vision of Liam, Amy McCarter

A Vision of Liam
by Amy McCarter

Dancing in the pumpkin patch
scents of Autumn surround
a little boy smiles
messy curls bouncing on his head
Running through the orange delight
giggling with excitement and joy
looking for the magic one
Found, he turns his sparkling eyes to me
I reach to hold his soft sweet hand
he is gone.

:::

about the poem.
Written October 2008. I drove past a country store every day on my way to work. As the Autumn season arrived, the store displayed mums and a pumpkin patch. Each day as I passed this store, my heart ached for my little boy I missed so dearly. I could almost see Liam toddling through the rows of pumpkins. It was then this poem was born.

about the poet.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day. 

Tree Through the Fog, Amy McCarter.

Tree Through the Fog.
Amy McCarter.
Photography.

:::

about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

Come Fly with Me, Amy McCarter.

Come Fly with Me.
Amy McCarter.
Acrylic on book.


:::


about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.

Altered Book, Amy McCarter.

Altered Book.
Amy McCarter.
Mixed Media.

:::

about this piece.
Amy describes this work, "This is one of the first pages I made in my altered book earlier this year. Mixed media of magazine and acrylic paint."

about the artist.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day. 

Hope and Despair. Amy McCarter

Hope and Despair.
Amy McCarter.
Acrylic.

:::

about this piece.
Amy describes these pieces, "These two go together as Hope and Despair and face each other if placed side by side. I participated with Kara Jones (Mother Henna) in 2009 with her collaborative effort to make a book about "The hero and the shadow". I used acrylics and the description of both Hope and Despair are writings taken from my blog."

about the contributor.
Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband and two greyhounds. Amy describes her journey, "Our only child Liam was born alive and apparently healthy on September 25, 2007, and was the joy of our lives. Our son Liam died soon after birth due to unexplained/unknown causes, shattering our world and our hearts. Art is an expression and release of my grief, and a way to honor the memory of our little man who is missed beyond words." Amy maintains a blog showcasing her Creative Everyday Challenge at Surviving the Day Every Day.