Two Poems, Tiffany

That Day
by Tiffany

That day I got the horrible news,
I swear I heard the heavens cry.
Please take me, take me instead!
My baby was not supposed to die!
Everything happened so very fast,
I didnt even know what to do.
I held you, I kissed you...
I could not take my eyes off you.
When the time came to put you down,
I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you there...
alone and cold never to see you again.
How could life be so unfair?
As I turned my back to leave you there...
I swear I heard the Earth moaning.
Each step I took, the more I hurt...
I wept and could not stop groaning.
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months,
and still like a flood my tears fell.
This agony, this pain I felt...
was surely a living hell.
I was trapped in this life of grief,
this new life no one understood.
The things in life I used to see had now faded.
I saw no more the good.
To have to live without a child
is something no one should.
To say goodbye to something so pure and flesh of your flesh...
but yet I knew I would.
The pain burned past the heart and to the soul.
It makes the heart wish it would stop.
You see in color no more... just dull grays,
and your cries and screams echo through the mountain tops.
It makes the heavens cry and mountains crumble...
Oceans still and even the very flowers weep.
It stabs till time indefinite into the universe...
There is nothing like it, this pain ever so deep.
Never again will I be who I was,
She died when you did.
Though people want to deny you and pretend you never happened,
you will forever be my baby, my daughter, my kid.

:::

Dont Think I Dont Love You
by Tiffany

It has been many moons since you left my side
I still cant believe my baby died
I survived sailing those treacherous seas
but at times it hurts so bad I drop to my knees
Though the storm has passed and cleared the view
Dont think I dont love you
I smile, I laugh and I play
But that doesnt mean I dont think of you everyday
I live because my heart beats on
I still cant believe that you are truly gone
You have a brother now, and a sister too,
but please dont think I dont love you
Our family has changed over time
but one thing that's constant is you'll always be mine
I see your beauty in the sky
or a dragonfly that sails by
Many things in my life are now new,
but dont think I dont love you

:::

about the poems.
The two go hand in hand on my personal experience of losing my first child, Genesis. The first poem exposes my raw grief right after she died. The second shows where I am now after several years. My grief is still very much there and from time to time I still visit that raw pain. But having the two pieces side by side shows how my grief has evolved.-Tiffany

about the contributor.
I blog at In the Beginning There was Genesis for those that would like to read my story and my day to day struggles on living without Genesis. I also blog at Names on the Sidewalk where I do tributes to babies that are no longer with us for those that may be interested.