Thursday, December 2, 2010

Behind These Hills, Susan Sanders

Behind These Hills
in memory of Jessica
by Susan Sanders

Sudden shock still silently swirls
in the dead bed of pine needles,
holding what was once alive
holding the body you fought
so hard to be friends with.

Behind these hills is a peculiar
path, a secret road out of town
out of the state, off the very heart
of the earth; a road to another life
that you said you wanted and
what you took stake on
turning away from everyone

who only wanted to love you.
It is there or nothing you said
in the dreamed dark, dancing
backwards in an old house
which my sister photographed
as if after death, we might catch
a glimpse of who you had become.


about this piece.
This poem is about my late daughter Jessica who took her own life at 15. It certainly has been a rough road to being somewhat sane after this happened. -Sue


  1. Sue, this is a very touching and heart breaking piece of writing. You write beautifully and your love for Jessica is very obvious throughout. Thank you for sharing it.

  2. I'm very sorry for the loss of your daughter. Your poem is so honest and heartbreaking. Thank you for opening up and sharing it.

  3. A beautiful poem. I've been trying to pick out one line in particular but I simply cannot choose between them. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Jessica.

  4. So heartbreaking. The poem is haunting too. So sorry for your loss.

  5. Sue, I am sitting here trying to imagine, trying to see through your eyes for a moment and it brings me such sorrow.

    The image of Jessica dancing and the line "a glimpse of who you had become" are as others have said truly haunting.

  6. I am so sorry that your daughter is gone. I'm so sorry that suicide is the reason. My heart aches for you. I read understanding in what you wrote and I am glad for that. Thank you for sharing her with us.

  7. Sue, I am sooooo deeply sorry that Jessica is not with you in flesh and breath any longer. I dream that you find peace within by staying connected to your deep love.


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