tangled moments, Lucas

tangled moments
by Lucas

tangled moments
a call
a voice
the waiting; the dreadful waiting
the news
the tears
more waiting in a cold room
hope for a sign
hope for a miracle
a heavy sigh, a solemn look
more words, glancing blows
movement everywhere, but here
here there is stillness
stillness but no peace

beauty emerges
no breath
more pain
placed in my arms
a name
a face
a life
a dream shattered
unfamiliar silence
unexpected fate

a star
a twinkle
if only for a moment

:::

about the poem.
Lucas describes this piece, "This poem emerges from a single moment - it is one of the strongest and most vivid memories that I have of our baby daughter. There is tension of emotions. The first was seeing the cord around Lyra's neck. My heart sank. I was overwhelmed with emotions of sadness, but somewhere in the midst of this intense grief, I found compassion, I found love, I found a face that we had been expecting for 30 weeks. A flicker of joy that was short lived. She was beautiful. Little hands and toes. This was our baby. I've always hesitated to share that glimpse of joy, of being able to meet my daughter for the first time, in fear that it will replace the overwhelming sadness and injustice that she is forever out of our reach. I have a hard time projecting what Lyra might have been like or would have looked like. I only try to hold tightly to the one image of her that I have that is authentic and real for me. A moment that is tangled forever in my memory."

about the poet.
Lucas has been married to his wife, Rachel (of Curlsofred), for 4 years. His daughter was born still at 30 weeks on December 18, 2009.