Three poems for Henry Tim, Evan and Jasper, Sophie Smith

Three poems for Henry Tim, Evan and Jasper
by Sophie Smith

I. Our Henry Tim
The life we'd planned for you my darling first born baby boy
Was full of fun and games and laughter, happiness and joy.
The eldest of your triplet brothers a special boy you'd be,
First in line and so in charge of this great gang of three.

Our hopes and dreams for you sweet Henry gone the day you came,
but you brought a love to us, our lives can never be the same.
When I felt your tiny heart beat fast against my own
I felt a love so pure and strong that I have never known.

Your daddy kissed your face and cried - Your life with us too brief,
But the love we feel for you will last beyond sorrow and grief.

II. My Gentle Evan 
My darling Evan, my gentle son,
You brightened our lives and then you were gone.
If I'd known that in only ten days you'd have died
I'd never have wasted the time from your side.

I wish I could cuddle you just one more time,
And wonder at how your sweet face looks like mine,
Touch your blonde hair and your wiggling toes,
Your beautiful body and cute button nose.

Your first time in my arms was also your last,
Your daddy and I cuddled you as you passed.
We'll never forget you our beautiful Evan
Who brightened our lives before going to Heaven.

III. My Darling Jasper
I felt every needle, each tube in your throat,
Every pain that you felt was mine too;
But your Mummy was helpless to save your sweet life,
There was nothing at all I could do.

I wanted to kiss you and hold you in tight,
To make you feel safe and be strong;
To play with you, laugh with you, feed you and read to you,
Take you home where you belong.

My love for you Jasper will never fade,
Now you’re with Henry and Evan;
And one day we’ll all be together again,
When Daddy and I are in Heaven.

:::

about the pieces.
Sophie talks about her three poems:
"I wrote the first poem for my little boy, my first triplet, Henry Tim, four months after he was born at 21 weeks 5 days, after his waters broke at 21 weeks. My husband and I had felt like the luckiest people in the world to be having triplets – it was such a miracle and so exciting. When Henry was born and I became a mother for the first time I had to let go the hopes and dreams I’d held for my son. Henry’s birth was traumatic and frightening, but when my little boy was laid on my chest where I held him for his hour of life, I knew that my love for him would last forever.

"I wrote the second poem a few weeks after Evan died. I have always held a lot of regret for the time I didn’t spend by my little boy Evan’s side. Of my three boys, I have the fewest memories of Evan. Of my three boys, his death was the most traumatic as we removed him from his life support. Of my three boys, I held Evan the least. In this poem I talk about these regrets and wishes. I used to recite this poem several times a day to myself for months after I wrote it. Sometimes I thought I must be going mad, but looking back I think it helped me to heal.


"I wrote this poem in the days following Jasper’s death and included it in his funeral booklet. Jasper lived for 58 days and had to endure many horrible procedures and tests. I had a terrible feeling of helplessness standing by and watching my baby endure so much suffering. However, I always thought that he was going to come through and that I’d have the chance to look after him properly as he grew into a boy and young man. I’d have the chance to give him the kisses that I couldn’t give him when he was so sick. In the last verse, I talk about Jasper being reunited with his brothers. It has always given me great comfort to know that Evan and Henry were waiting for Jasper, and the three little brothers are together again."

about the poet.
Sophie Smith describes herself, "2006 was the happiest and the saddest of my life. My husband Ash and I became parents for the first time - to triplets: Henry, Jasper and Evan. However, when our beautiful little boys arrived too soon, Henry at 21 weeks and Evan & Jasper at 24 weeks, our lives changed forever. Our Henry lived for one precious hour in my arms, a brain hemorrhage shortened our Evan’s life to ten days, and brave little Jasper fought on for 58 days before finally joining his brothers in Heaven.

"We now have a fourth son, Owen, who is a happy and healthy 19 month old and brings us a joy we never believed possible."

Sophie maintains a memorial website for her sons at Henry, Jasper and Evan Smith .