She Never Took a Breath
by Kara Wansbury
She never took a breath
(Take mine)
She never saw the sun
(It brings no light to my life)
She never saw my smile
(I have no joy)
She never heard my voice
(It echoes in my empty heart)
She never felt my touch
(I want for no one but her in my arms)
She felt my love and it was all I could give her
:::
about the poem.
I wrote this poem a few weeks after my gorgeous daughter was born into peace on 2 March 2011. I named her Marin. Marin, of the sea. She was diagnosed with hydracephelus and spina bifida at 20 weeks so I made the heartbreaking choice to endure pain every single day so she was spared it. I started writing poems so that I could explore my feelings and this piece allowed me to explore my feelings of guilt and sadness. Throughout my journey I have always owned every emotion, feeling and experience. I refuse to follow a grief timeline and I refuse to let others guide my feelings. I will not give in to shame and guilt regarding my decision. I will embrace sorrow and hope, equally. I will love again. - Kara
about the poet.
I am 30 years old, single and I live in Sydney, Australia. I am in the Navy and I work in public relations. I have been granted the good fortune of considerable time off work and I will use this time wisely to study and explore my grief in whatever creative outlet I pursue. I am not alone in this journey: I have Marin with me every step of the way. - Kara
Hi Kara, thank you for sharing your work. She felt your love, and that's the most precious gift you could have given her. Her name is precious too, Marin, just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a lovely poem. Marin is a beautiful name, and I'm certain she felt your love. Sending my love x
ReplyDeleteThis is simply beautiful. And so many aspects of this, and your story, fit beautifully with the water theme.
ReplyDeleteMissing Marin.
xo
Hello darling, your poem is beautiful. She knew you loved her xox
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies. It breaks my heart a little more some days to know that I will never use her beautiful name to call her in for dinner...
ReplyDeleteThank you for the opportunity to share.
Kara, xx
This is truly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI once had to make a choice a little similar and then again when my son reached a point of ventilation or death. It is no easy option, that is for sure. I am so very sorry that Marin is not with you.
What a beautiful poem. I can't imagine what you have to feel guilty about. I can tell you are a sweet and giving person, and you have so much time left to spread your love, through your poetry, being a mom again in the future, and whatever else you do. THank you for your words.
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful and touching. Thank you for sharing it with us!
ReplyDeleteKara your story is heartbreaking to read and deeply cutting as i understand the hurt, loss and pain you feel.
ReplyDeleteStay true to your own needs, I found it to be the BEST way to cope during my journey so far.
If you ever feel like connecting in person let me know as I live in Sydney too. My journey of loss and grief began when my baby boy Jesse was born still almost 11 months ago.
Take gentle and loving care of yourself.