Angry Day
by Rachel Simon
Today’s an angry day
Today I hate the world
Nothing you say matters
I’ve lost my little girl
I don’t wanna hear your gossip
I don’t wanna hear your problems
Unlike my trials and tribulations
There’s a way for you to solve ‘em
I don’t wanna eat right now
No, I won’t drink that water either
Just let me stew alone for once
To come out of this damn ether
I don’t care that it’s a beautiful day
I don’t wanna walk outside
I just want to lie in my dark room
All I wanna do is hide
It will not be ok
I’m not going to move on
You should think before you talk
‘Cos all your saying’s wrong
I don’t have to give it time
It’s not going to get better
Don’t say she’s in a happier place
You’ve never even met her
It didn’t happen for a reason
There’s nothing learned from this
Don’t you see it’s taking everything
Just to make sure I persist
I didn’t lose a parent or sibling
So don’t compare your loss
For you to claim it is the same
Makes me so damn cross
I didn’t ask your opinion
I don’t care about your feelings
Even though it’s been 10 months
I find myself still reeling
Don’t be mad at me
‘Cos I won’t listen to your crap
I’ve got this constant struggle
To wiggle out of this damn trap
Away with your pregnant belly
Don’t rub your babies in my face
Don’t gloat about your pregnancy
I might put you in your place
I told you I was angry
I warned you from the start
It’s hard to be a childless mother
To live life with a shattered heart
:::
about the piece.
Rachel discusses her piece, "This poem came from that dark place lingering inside of me. It’s a good thing I only let it out constructively! For those reading this who have never experienced the loss of a child, please don’t take it personally. I know I need to live life by making small talk, gossiping, connecting with people, in short, dealing with the facets of everyday life. But there are times, like today, in which it feels too mundane. Enter poetry."
:::
about the poet.
Rachel Simon lost her daughter Shiloh to an umbilical cord accident in October 2008. She created a website in memory of Shiloh: In Memory of our Daughter, and maintains a blog called Our Healing Journey.
This poem is so full of raw emotion- and it is perfect.
ReplyDeleteThis is it, you have captured it exactly. I feel all this too, all of this. I wish that I couldn't relate, that I wasn't reading this with tears but I am. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
Oh boy did I FEEL like this today! I agree with the others. Powerful, raw and perfect in its bluntness. Thankyou for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI'm crying now because I wish I didn't feel like this today...my daughter died 8 weeks ago tomorrow and I feel like this all the time right now...
ReplyDeleteThis brought me to tears. It is so full of truth and emotions. Thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteThe poem says it perfectly, I love it!
ReplyDeleteI've only experienced a miscarriage, which seems to pale in comparison to what you went through. But your poem expresses the feelings involved in the loss of a baby so well. I have a website where I publish womens' stories of loss, poetry, anything else they would like to submit. I'd love it if you submitted your poetry so I could publish it on the site. The site is angelbracelets.org. Just click the contact form on the site and paste in whatever you want us to publish.
ReplyDeletei feel that way some days too. well written
ReplyDeletenice way of releasing the anger! very true. thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteYes. 16 months later and still, yes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this, I'm sorry for your loss.
I tried to comment the other day and couldn't. I wanted to let you know this is perfect. Describes it all just right. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThis poem really resonates with me. Anger one of my closest friends.
ReplyDeleteANg